& Aging Parents Care
There isn’t a specific right way or a wrong way in knowing how to handle retirement wishes and aging parents care. It all should be approached from a carefully customized plan developed between you and the senior citizen. It should start from mutual respect before any kind of agreement can be reached, or any decision be made about the present or the future.
There is an old adage, “out of the mouths of babes and drunks. . .” I’d like to change that a bit and say, “out of the mouths of babes and elders . . .”. Think about it for a moment. Don’t they both want the same thing? What, you ask? Very simply, they both want your time and your attention. Your goal is to help the child as well as helping aging parents with their retirement wishes.
Seniors want to live it up with some mutual concepts about life:
- Seniors take pleasure in uncomplicated things in life, they believe in keeping it simple
- Seniors can amuse themselves with even the simplest form of entertainment
- Seniors get a kick out of their children and grandchildren, but they don’t want a steady diet of either of them getting into their business. It doesn't quite fit with their retirement wishes.
- Seniors have a ball with the kids. They think you should turn them loose more often, then just move out of their way
- Ever notice how much seniors love to hug? And they REALLY hug with a squeeze, don’t they? So do children.
You are busy raising your kids, living your own life, planning for your own future and that of your children, taking time for what is important to you to maintain your career, individuality and independence. In this fast-paced world of yours, there is rarely room to think about taking on the role of caregiver to your aging parents care, or carrying out the plan for their old age. You just hadn’t thought about that yet, had you?
While specifically talking about kids, Kahlil Gibran makes a passage about them that, in my opinion, applies equally to our senior parents. It goes something like this: “You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit; not even in your dreams”. How true when dealing with our parents retirement wishes.
Seniors just imagine how life should be then live it. Seniors live it up!
- Seniors rejoice in loving and being loved, and that’s not through an email, a text, or a twitter
- Seniors learn something from every experience and they want to share it with you
- Seniors have overcome their fears and anxieties with love and courage. It’s up to you to nurture them with encouragement and likeness
- Seniors think the best apology gift is not flowers, it is forgiveness. Say you are sorry, eyeball to eyeball
- Seniors think you should live a little, too. They want you to let your hair down with them. So do the children
What are those dreams? If you are a parent, you have probably encouraged your children to tell you about their dreams. What do they want to be when they grow up? What is important to them? How will they plan for that dream to come true? How do they see the end result? Who is their hero? Who do they want to most be like? But what about your aging parents care and their retirement wishes?
Isn’t this the same way your parents raised you? They admired your dreams and encouraged you to make them come true. So what’s the problem? Maybe there isn’t a plan, or because it’s just not wanted yet, or the concept hasn’t even entered into your mind yet. Time has just passed too quickly and you have hardly begun your own journey into parenthood, and your parents into grandparenting. Thinking about helping aging parents with their retirement wishes has not even entered the picture yet.
But, senior life happens. It plays no favorites, and it happens rapidly, without warning:
- Seniors beat the drum slowly and deliberately, and make each day last as long as it possibly can
- Seniors thrill to the sound of a voice from the past, or the kindness of someone new
- Seniors celebrate and ceremonialize time. They seem to think they have so little of it
Seniors don’t have to go far to find compassion and empathy; they recognize all the possibilities of love
- Seniors luxuriate in the time you give them, one on one, especially when you really listen to the beat of their drums
Why is it so hard to have the same conversations and shared encouragement for your aging parents care and their retirement sentiments in preparing for their life ahead? What happens between childhood and now? Where do you lose yourself between then and old age that you forget both age groups need to be real, live life to the fullest, and communicate experiences to each other? Aren't these your retirement wishes?
Why are you compelled to separate the two? Is your mind clouded with thoughts like, “Jeffrey is too lively for his grandpa; and Anna is much too pushy for her grandma. Dad is far too strict with my kids, and Mom is such a push-over and gives in to their every whim”. Do you feel you need that total control all the time? What's the big deal with helping aging parents with their retirment wishes?
There’s a great need for the young to adjust to the old, and the old to the young through happy times. Sometimes you need to stand back and watch magic happen:
- Seniors blow off steam with wreckless abandon. It’s as satisfying as eating fiber every day
- Seniors like to cut loose all those inhibitions they used to worry about, and live free
- You can mark with a red letter how many times a senior will break a date with you for some fun and frolic
- Seniors have a ball, even with perfect strangers. They just love to entertain and to be entertained
Seniors have no problem taking responsibility for their actions. They could care less what you think when they are having fun
- Seniors think you should practice your manners. Say thank you, excuse me, and please often
Just like children, the problem most people have with the old, is listening. You think you already know what they are going to say, because they might talk slower and gather their thoughts before speaking them. Perhaps they are reliving the memory they are relating to you. You can learn something about their retirement sentiments here.
Most of the time, you are sitting there getting irritated and becoming impatient by how long it takes to tell the story. While they are remembering and reveling in the memory, thinking about the road ahead in their retirement wishes; you have already skipped past the punch line into your cell phone or text message and missed the best part. . . the joy of sharing this story with you.
Your parents don’t need to hear about every little detail of your life; neither do your kids. They just want to hear the things that relate to them and to each other. Sure, they want to know that you are well, that you are happy, and that you are safe; but they could care less about the job you did today, the hard work you do every day, how busy you are, how hectic your routine is, etc. They are not impressed, parent or child. They want you to focus on them, be concerned and receptive to helping your aging parents deal with all their retirement wishes.
They want you to take a “time out” and give them some meaningful togetherness time:
- Seniors kick up their heels on every opportunity available and encourage you to do the same
- Seniors take glory in their faith and conviction; and take nothing more serious than a promise
- Seniors have a good time just sitting on a bench and people watching, critter watching, or the disappearance of light in a sunset
- Seniors make whoopee out of just about anything so long as there is some fun in it
- Seniors take pleasure in anything you want to give them for a holiday, especially if it’s on time and not a day or two late
- Seniors get off on people and things that make them belly laugh
- Seniors will drink to anything that has to do with anything, especially if you are buying, it’s happy hour, or there’s a 2 for 1 special
So, you see, there really isn’t a right way or a wrong way in knowing how to handle old people and their retirement wishes. Seniors never miss the opportunity to live it up. And the children just follow in their footprints. They both memorialize every second you give them of your time and energy. They equally live as if today was the last day of their lives; and love as if their supply will last forever, and they can’t give it often enough or enough of it. Believe in the magic of life, believe in all your retirement wishes come true.
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